Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
