i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
