Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
