now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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