did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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