I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the day after is always just damage control
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
