Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
