You just made me feel so damn special
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
