Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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