My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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