Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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