If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The convent might be a nice break from real life
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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