Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
