his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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