Just look for the house with the beer knights.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
