When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
