And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
