Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
