Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
