this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
