booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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