i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
