I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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