forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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