do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
