This is not my ceiling
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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