Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
