please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
