We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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