How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
