Well douche your snatch and let's go!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
