And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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