well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I am naked and annoyed.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
