Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
