i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
