I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
