her vagine was all disorganized.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
