Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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