Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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