Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
