Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
