Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
