I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
