You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
