Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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