Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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