i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
