the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am naked and annoyed.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
