my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
