I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
